Autonomy and Authority

Tuesday, 28 November 2006
1.33pm
Koningsstraat, Amsterdam

I remember that feeling in high school. Choosing your friends. You dress the same, you listen to the same music, you go to the same events... You even hate the same people and adore the same idols.

Your identity is that of being part of the group. It is what sociologists call 'collective behaviour' or early adulthood psychologists call 'peer pressure'.

Some people grow up to be part of a group and that's not wrong. I am and always will be part of my family.

I was clicking and musing on people's Friendster photos and how hard it is to see which one is your friend because most of their pictures are 'foto rame2'.

Is it the feeling of not wanting to be alone? Is it the fear of being different? Of not being accepted? Is it the feeling of insecurity? Is it not having a solid identity independent from 'a group'?

Is it all of the above?

It led me to think of what to teach to my children or myself. It's never wrong to be part of a group but it's important to be able to think for yourself. To define right and wrong. To stand on your own two feet. To be autonomous. To be able to perceive free of pressure. To be able to construct an argument. To be strong. To be persistent. The qualities you need in life to accept failure when needed and assess the qualities gained from the scar tissue surrounding our your wounds.

The more you are exposed to difference, the more you comprehend your own framework of life. The more you comprehend your own framework of life, the more you realise the realities you take for granted - thus questioning the authorities you conform to.

Perhaps metaphorically, it is like walking down the street focusing on your destination. Your view remains horizontal as you are walking on ground. When you are above the street, your view is vertical. You see the people walking in several directions, including you, and you establish the patterns that are obvious and the deviant behaviours of people not knowing where to walk.

You no longer see life as a focused destination. You start seeing life as a journey. No matter where you end, you always knew you made sound decisions. Because you always 'questioned'. Because you always 'knew better'.

Identity is a complex matter perhaps related to more than just culture or human behaviour. But it is not inherent and what is not inherent can eternally be challenged.

'...Most surely there are signs in this for people who reflect.' (Koran, The Kneeling, 45:13)