08.41pm
Almere, Netherlands
All textbooks, no matter speaking of what topics in which contexts, they all start with the establishment of common ground. The writer will always start with defining the variables they are talking about. The purpose of this act is to make sure that the reader shares the same perspective, or at least, understand the writer's. This is basic knowledge of structurising an argument. Especially when it comes to something with high relativity.
Then I thought about the interaction between two strangers. In order to achieve the goal of understanding, they must first establish their common ground - to minimise misunderstanding (just like in textbooks). Defining themselves.
"What defines you?"
If you had a chance to define yourself briefly, what would you say? What defines your views, your life, your beliefs, your stance, your values, your.. everything? How do you make someone else understand who you are?
I started observing, or moreover, reminiscing, some of the most basic examples of the people I have in my life. It's so easy to do, just browse through the photographs they've uploaded in their social networking profile. It suits the format, that this is the window from which they allow other people, strangers, to peak into their private lives. This is the common ground they wish to establish.
Some of them put in pictures of family, friends, best friends, them with a certain way of smiling, a good side of their face, them in what I assume to not be daily clothes, them with the 'right' crowd, them with 'something' to make a point in showing who they are.
It brought me to think about which is which. Do people actually need object to define themselves? Do you need to wear the right clothes in order to make yourself heard? Do you have to read the right books, listen to the right music, wear uncomfortably expensive shoes, smile with your head tilted to the left, in order to project a certain representation to other people? To make people think of you they way you want them to.
Do you? Do I? Do you feel the need to hide a part of yourself or show another to make people respect you? Do you? Do I?
It's a very sad thing to realise, that you (I) have no integrity, self-esteem, pride and value to have to fake yourself to be accepted. What is the source of all this chaos? The fear of being different? The fear of being judged? The fear of not being able to agree to disagree?
[Agree to disagree. Such a beautiful notion.]
You do not have to put on fake colours on your face to be beautiful, you have to change the way you see yourself. Through your values and compassion.
You don't have to cut your carbs to fit into a dress. First thing you need to do is buy a bigger size. Second thing to do is to start paying attention to your health.
You don't have to say the right things to be in the hip crowd. You need to redefine your definition of being hip. Being hip is respecting difference and seeing everyone as equals.
You don't have to look perfect to make the right person fall in love with you. You need to find yourself and see who is attracted by your true colours. They, I promise, will stay a lifetime.
You don't have to read all of the books in the world to be intellectual. You need to find out the things your interested in, share them with other people and you'd be surprised how much you've learn from them.
You do not need to buy designer handbags to feel confident. You need to take a walk down the suburbs and see how your precious handbags make hungry people want to steal.
To live moderately, honestly, respectfully, would be an ideal way to define yourself. I wish it were as easy as typing these letters.
It boggles the mind though, whether you are as good a person inside as you project to other people. It honestly does. And by you, I mean me.
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