Bittersweet Symphony

Saturday, 16 September 2006
12.56PM
Koningsstraat, Amsterdam

Friends are good objects of comparative analysis. If you've had the opportunity to get to know people from as many levels of social and economical status you will come to the conclusion that happiness is subjective to each person, regardless of how much acknowledgement or money they have.

For example, we all know this typical prince and princesses who don't have to lift a finger their whole life and live off daddy's money (pardon my poor stereotyping and bless them for their good hearts). Who lunches amongst those with designer handbags and pursue to maintain their standar of living. We also know those who grew up in slums with tough characters and drive to success who pull themselves out of their situation with hardwork and perseverance.

When I was 17 I asked my wise pop, "Who is more fortunate: those who grew up rich and didn't have a chance to know how hard life really is or those who grew up poor and know how hard life is?" Being the zen person he is, he answered, "The most fortunate is those who know how to use what they have and help not only themselves but other people as well."

Let us drink the goodwill of his comments and start the argument from here on with the best of intentions and as little judging as possible (tee-hee).

I had the chance to make my own money, and sadly be cut off allowance, since I was 21. My goal, at that moment, was to save as much money as I could, invest it and live off the interest so that I could really save the money I made (sick as it is, that is actually what I used to do) thus being able to one day own a house and car. In a nutshell, making money made me happy. I could buy things without having to consent to anyone, make my own budgeting, plan my own investment methods. All was nice and simple.

But then life has its twists and I married my bestfriend instead, left right after to get my early Masters Degree. It was then on had I learned that money means nothing...

At first all we did was fight about budgeting because both of us were used to our own way. I realised that mostly the problem was in me, because I still couldn't control my ego and let go of what used to be 'mine'. I learned the hard way that, for me, investing in my relationship is 'more profitable' than investing in my savings account. Perhaps more that nothing is actually ours so its most beneficial to plan carefully where you want to allocate the temporary fundings you have now in order to bring back the best return in the future. May it be friends, family, a house, a vacation - it all heads to one target: happiness or what we perceive it to be.

The argument for my choice is that money is nominal. Humans have the nature to be unsatisfied and want more. Once you reach 1 you will strive for 2, reached 2 strive for 3 and so forth. In terms of money, with it being nominal, the rationale is perhaps: nothing will ever be enough. You could be the richest person in the world and you would still be thinking of how to make more money and buy more things. You could say now that the only thing you want is a house or your own car or to afford a baby-sitter, but tomorrow when those are fulfilled you would naturally move to the tertiary level and subscribe to sattelite TV or save up for a media room.

You would never be satistfied.

At this point of my train of thoughts, I decided that it is best to just take a deep breath and be thankful of what you have. Sometimes the things you want distort you from appreciating the things you already have. It is then when you disregard how fortunate you actually are that they slip away. Perhaps logically, it was because you weren't paying attention to them hard enough.

Of course having targets is mandatory or else we will be the same person for the rest of our lives. Growing, through any means, I argue, is the basic motivation to living. But it's one thing to want too much and lose what you already have. Perhaps in my case, wanting security and losing satisfaction.

To think that all of this pondering I am doing came up by simply overhearing Richard Ashcroft singing:

Trying to make ends meet
you're a slave to money
then you die

There you go.