04.29 PM
Koningsstraat, Amsterdam
You might realise the change of address or I might be too self-involved to assume so but yes, Arya and I just moved to a new apartment. Long story short, it was then, during the period of not knowing where to live when we had to move within 2 weeks and not knowing if Arya could stay in the Netherlands considering the long bureaucratic procedures of residence permit, when I realised that Arya is the person for me and I for him.
In the beginning of our relationship I was the person constantly reminding him how, in life, we have to have targets - it turned out this is not what I need in a partner.
Perhaps I am over-generalising by arguing that most of my friends who are well-oriented and fast-paced are pretty much the opposite of street smart. They know how to be this month's employee but don't know how to fix a leaking sink or calculate the most efficient way to arrange boxes when moving. When I am cleaning, Arya is the type of person that would stand up and do something too. Not always, but he realises the neccessity to appreciate other people's effort, especially his partner's. He doesn't see me 'only' as a wife but he sees me as a partner, who is able and at the same time is entitled of appreciation.
If I had to choose between being 'target-smart' and 'street-smart' as a quality necessary in a partner, I would choose the latter. Perhaps because I am not so or for some other reason. But the bottomline for me is, you could work on your life target together with your partner but you can't teach them how to empathise without them being raised to appreciate other people.
For that, I thank Arya's parents for raising him as the self-sufficient rational smart-ass he is. Kudos to Mr. & Mrs. Toekan.
When I whine about something, he is the type of person who would shrug my unnecessary bickering off. He would remind me that I am being ungrateful instead of nurse my feelings. For someone who strives to become independent and strong, this is the way to go.
I suppose it really depends on what kind of person you want to become and finding the right person to cooperate with you in order to become the couple you see yourself part of. I am glad we had the opportunity to be given 'tough love' here and prove how good we can cooperate under immense pressure. Sure we have our quarrels but when the going gets tough, the tough in us really gets going.
Oh and here is our new place (the exact same spot I'm sitting now)...
No comments:
Post a Comment