Cost and Benefit

Tuesday, 6 March 2007
10.35PM
Koningsstraat, Amsterdam

I am coming home soon. Well, in a few months, after my thesis is done. Friends ask why we (Arya and I) aren't staying for a couple of more years instead and make money. This did cross our (my) mind and, to be honest, it is intriguing.

But I guess it's the simple measure of cost and benefit. Without discrediting those who decide to stay, which, believe me, I respect with all my heart and mind; it is too painful to see loved ones grow from a distance. It is undeniable that the love will always remain the same; near or far. But it becomes clearer what I am letting go when I realise how much my brother has grown or how much more lines there are on my parents' faces.

I suppose this is why I choose to oversimplify. Yes, there are so many benefits that I get by staying, and yes, family will always be family nevertheless the distance. But I guess at one point we need to ask ourselves what we truly want. None the wiser, none the better. What really makes you happy?

Self-actualisation is very important, as is family. Standing on our own two feet and maximising our potential is a must. And to those who resort to this decision, all the power to you. But same goes to those who return to family. It is not a question of weakness or strength. It really depends on what your aims are. To those who strive to be loved/love, weakness is to stay apart from them. To those who strive to make their dreams into plans, strength is to keep on going. To those who are torn between the two, process is the pain that goes with finding the balance. Sometimes it is painful no matter which decision you make. Pragmatically speaking, perhaps it's finding the least painful decision. Elaboratively, I would say calculating if the benefit we receive from one decision covers the cost that comes with it is the way to go.

As I always say: No matter how lucky we are, we can never have it all.