Sunday, April 26, 2009

Justified Reasoning

When you're a working mother, be it part time or full time, the best case scenario is that you are guilt ridden for leaving your child with another person.

The worst case scenario is that you feel nothing, only to wake up one day realising that a stranger knows more of your child than you do.

You begin realising that the nanny is the first person who witnesses their developments. Then there might be moments where your child cries the nanny's name when he or she falls down.

This is what I cite to myself every day, when I ask myself if it's time for me to get back to work full time. And I always end up deciding that nothing - nothing - is worth missing out on Malik growing up. He deserves a parent. Someone who is present. Who is able to answer his questions, albeit as trivial as they will be in his first years - but will contribute to his later development. Who stimulates his growth with love and responsibility.

And I don't trust that anyone could live up to that standard if not the two people who decided to bring him to this world.

1 comment: said...

i have been there, am still doing that - a part time mom. i paid someone to look after her while i was working or clubbing or xxxing

afraid and timid, i took up this live :)

i acknowledged the consequence(s), anticipating the existence of the famous nanny :D.

my justified acting was: kept continuing breast feeding - the only thing that can be done by only me.

i created the circumstances for craving of m(y breast)e.

evil? yes. i am.