Thursday, November 25, 2010

Enough is Not Enough

I vividly remember how my brain hurt while I was writing my thesis, how I felt that I have reached my limits and that this is the best that I can do - no more. How after surpassing that, I realised that things made much more sense afterwards. Somewhere along the process I actually understood, and now looking back I know I can write a 100-150 page research on another topic.

And yet we arrive to the same point. Where upon my 50.000th word of my PhD thesis, I stumbled. Surrounded by dozens of books and a string of tabs on my browser, once again my brain said: Enough.

And my head hurt all over again on a whole new level.

The difference now is that I know this is a journey where my comprehension is tested and pushed further. That the only way to learning is to actually force myself to know more.

And I do hope for the rest of my life I get these stumbles. Because then I know I'm continually growing, continually learning. It's when I don't feel that I have reached my limits that I should actually be concerned; because it means I am unchallenged.

Having said that, it could be a research paper or juggling work and family; or both; or relocating to another country; or a first day at a new job; or letting go of a loved one; or anything - being desperate and having a moment where we feel like this is 'enough' is actually the moment where we can actually grow beyond what we were capable before.

And the journey continues.


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