Saturday, October 02, 2010

The Battle of Who Could Care Less

In an ideal world, everything is reciprocal. A kind act is returned with another kind act. Even better, the receiving end decides to pay it forward to another. And the process goes on and on and on.

And in contrast, an offensive act is not returned. So then the cycle stops, because no one paid it forward. It wasn't even returned in the first place.

Lately I've been faced with the stark reality that usually we return offensive acts and not reciprocate kind favours. Freud would say it's because of our ego. One, two, three people. Then it spirals into a group. Then between groups. Sooner or later, on a societal level.

Then you have intergroup conflicts, ideological contests, and the battle of who could say worse things in public.

It becomes systemic. The simple unwillingness (not inability) to just know when to stop. I find that it's impossible to agree on everything in life. I don't always agree with my partner, the closest human being to me in my life. But when you want to try and make things work, for something bigger than ourselves, something bigger than the sake of being right - it becomes less important to win the battle.

I fully understand that when we speak of religion, political interest, violence, righteousness, things become much, much more complex. Scholars and politicians make careers out of studying these factors (I know I do, ha!) usually not surmountable in a lifetime. We come up with concepts, definitions, theories to try and understand why we cannot live together.

When I think sometimes - sometimes - things are just as simple as knowing when to return kindness with kindness, and return violence with silence.

***

But of course it would help if we had trustworthy law enforcement to end the violence. And while I'm at it, a government that sides with the 'general welfare' and a media system that practices journalism of peace instead of journalism of war for sensationalism and profitability. And a solution to structural poverty. Education. Health. Housing. Environmental problems.

But I digress.

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