Thursday, March 24, 2011


I did an amateur survey on Twitter.

In terms of friendship, if you had to choose, would you seek for kindred spirits or those who are able to give different perspectives?

Replies varied. Some argued that friendships need common ground and mutual field of experiences. Other argued that in seeking for solutions, you would need rational arguments - preferably ones you haven't thought of so that you make an informed decision.

Both stances made sense to me. The soft-in-the-head side of me thought of the possibility that both stances are valid and highly dependent on context. Maybe in certain conditions you would need friendships who confirm and in others you would need friendships that challenge.

After thinking, I decided we choose the people around us based on whether or not we want to be accepted for who we are, or if we want to be reminded of who we want to become.

Some of us are content with settling, that life is about being grateful, being secure and comfortable.

Some of us want to grow and be continually challenged to reach our utmost potential.

At the end of the day, we do what we have to to keep sane. The most important thing, then, is knowing what we want in life and how to get there.

And I guess that shouldn't just apply in our choice of friendships.

Oh, and thank you so much for those who spent time to reply such a trivial question. Cheers.


colson said...


Did I ever "choose" friends or did friendships just happen? I'm not sure but I'm inclined to think there never was much calculation.

But generally I think with my best friends I had much in common. And a few striking differences to keep the friendship alive.

In the workplace though, that is if one is in some leadership position, I guess one is blessed most with critical but trusted friends who take slightly different views or have slightly different perspectives.

Inaya Rakhmani said...

I think I agree with your assessment.

Having said that, it's more of us 'attracting' than it is about us consciously choosing. But I underline that who our friends are is a projection of what we seek.